Afraid to Act
by Geheim
Summary: My first fanfic. Starts midway through S1E8, and it's the way I think first season should have gone. Goes a bit AU between episodes eight and nine, then proceeds with nine. D/K eventually.
1. Kilimanjaro

CHAPTER 1

Kate POV

I was extremely irritated. I knew Carl had something to do with it, and at the very least lied to the FBI, but we weren't pressing charges. State was getting pressure and because of that, our prime suspect was walking out. Now I had to go through the fun of explaining it to Daniel who would undoubtedly react as he always did when big brother was involved.

"Daniel. We had to let Carl go, State doesn't want to start a diplomatic incident." I called, seeing him in the hall away from his classroom.

"What? That's ridiculous. What happens to Shannon?" He asked as he started walking alongside me.

"I had to let her go too."

"She lied to a federal agent, that's a crime"

"Yeah but the AUSA doesn't want to prosecute a lovesick girl for protecting a boy who may very well be innocent himself."

At this Daniel rolled his eyes. "Carl's not innocent, he's just rich enough to afford immunity."

As we turned the corner I saw Michael walking towards us. I yelped and grabbed Daniel, dragging him around a corner so Michael wouldn't see me. Daniel was very confused and his expression showed it, "Why are you hiding from Professor Wonderful?"

I wasn't about to bring up the truth, so I only told part of it. "He's such a nice guy, and he's funny, and he's smart, and he cooks. I mean he's perfect, but, I just, I keep pushing him away and I don't know why." I couldn't look at Daniel, I'd probably blush. Looking at the ground I continued, "I mean, I just don't know really, how to handle it, you know." Looking back at him I saw something strange. He was looking to my left, and back, and back to my left. "I just can't seem to make up my mind is what I'm trying to say." Daniel looked overwhelmed. "I'm sorry I'm rambling, I just-"

"Stop!" He snapped out

I stopped, very surprised. "Sorry."

"No, don't say sorry I was-" He started, looking like he had really screwed things up.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" I said, feeling a little bitter, I had never been able to completely get rid of my crush on him. Now that I'd moved back to Chicago and was seeing Daniel regularly, it was back in full force. I guess he just didn't return the feelings.

oo0oo

Daniel POV

"You didn't, I just meant-" I stopped. Kate had done a lot for me. Since coming back from DC she gave me real life puzzles to solve and provided a much needed social life, or so Haley told me. She deserved the truth, however much I hated it. Stepping a little closer I lowered my voice, "I had a visitor who was talking at the same time you were. Two conversations, I just had to stop it".

"You just had an," she looked around uncomfortably, "episode?"

Inside I groaned realizing now I had to explain how my hallucinations happened and this whole time DJ is just standing there staring at me accusingly. Supposedly Kate had 'feelings' for me and now my younger self was pissed at me not taking my opportunity. He didn't think about the fact that I couldn't have a real relationship. "My hallucinations have come a lot since you've returned, just individual people who aren't actually there." She looked like she felt terrible, so I rushed to correct any misunderstandings. "They aren't all bad; they just sometimes come at very inconvenient times."

She still looked a bit unsure. "If the cases are a problem I can stop bringing them to you, Max just said-"

My mind instantly snapped to attention. "What did Max say?"

"Just that he thought the cases were good for you because they gave you puzzles."

I relaxed; Lewicki had my back as always. "They do, and they are good for me. Whether I have the cases or not, I'll still get hallucinations. These just help me with doing some good." She now looked apprehensively curious and was about to start talking so I kept going to stop her from gaining the opportunity. "Enough about me, can we please talk about the case?"

"Doc." Lewicki called out, coming around the corner and looking excited, "I know who's been writing papers for money."

He always came at the most opportune times. I jumped at the opportunity to distract Kate. "Oh yeah? What are you, junior detective or something?"

"I emailed the paper writer and I told him I need a paper analyzing Visnevski's neurological anatomy of psycho pathology."

"That's a terrible idea, nobody would ever do a paper on Visnevski, his thinking is totally outdated. I'm surprised the book's even in print."

"It's not. It's not even online. That's the genius of it."

Kate took this opportunity to jump in, "You knew he'd have to go to the library to get it."

I was extremely impressed. Not just by the fact that Lewicki was participating in a case, which he never does. But also by the ingenious idea he had, and then carried out without informing anyone before he'd found the writer. "You sly dog Lewicki, you sly sly dog." He looked quite proud of himself and showed us the paper he was carrying.

"He walked right into my little trap. The dude's a PhD student in English Lit. His name's Andre Lustig."

Kate received a call on her government monitored cell phone and told us not to wait for her. Lewicki and I went to Haley's office and called the boy up. An extremely grubby young man with what looked like hippie chains around his neck walked in. Long hair and ungroomed, he looked extremely pompous. When Haley asked him why he was providing papers for money, Lustig had an excuse ready.

"I've been working on my PhD for six years. I'm seventy thousand dollars in debt, I have no idea how I'm going to pay that back, my specialization is in late medieval poetry. "

Haley just wanted this problem to go away. He didn't have the patience or indulgence to deal with a boy like this when one of his students was murdered. "Give me a list of every student you wrote a paper for and I'll allow you to withdraw from CMLU"

"But no other school will take me; I'll never finish my doctorate."

"You might be able to get a job at a prep school, now I want a list of your customers."

"I don't remember their names, I've had like a hundred clients this semester." Andre protested indignantly. That was impossible unless he plagiarized on the papers he was making for other students.

"How is that possible?" Haley questioned

"I churn out a couple papers a day." Lustig said with pride.

It was at that point I, or rather my younger self, decided to visit me a second time. "Bullshit, I was a great student before I turned into you and even I couldn't write two papers a day." If Lustig was telling the truth, he had to be ingesting some stimulatory chemical.

"The paper you wrote for Bryan Cahale was good. It's hard to believe you wrote that in a day."

"I don't sleep very much."

Ahh, that confirmed my suspicion. "What do you take? Coke? Speed?"

"Just a study aid. It helped keep me awake, and my brain razor sharp." He said condescendingly.

DJ chose this moment to jump back in with his own 'two cents' on the conversation. "Our chem department may not be as good as MIT's, but it turns out some high end product." And, just like that, I knew who made it. Leaving Haley's office at a fast walk, I ran into Kate who must have just finished with the business she got in the call.

"Daniel. Where are you going?"

"The boy in there, Andre Lustig, was taking a brain enhancing product from the chemistry department. He didn't know who the creator was, but I do. Billy Mitchel."

"The boy I found in the bathroom dumping his joint? I guess he isn't only linked to this through Christina." She said as we walked towards Florenceworth.

"He's the one"

We walked in silence for a moment. It was dusk and the sun was already behind the skyline in the east. There was a nice breeze and the crickets were chirping giving me an opportunity to just enjoy the weather and company before I heard her intake of breath. She looked nervous, unsure, and that sent alarm bells ringing. "Daniel, I know you said your," she looked very uncomfortable "hallucinations were helpful. But, how often do you get them?"

I looked away from her and focused on the road in front of me. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

She stopped, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop as well. "Well useful or not, I don't want to be the reason your..." another long awkward pause, "problem is getting worse." She looked up and into my eyes and we just stood there for a few moments, looking at each other, her hand still grasping my arm. I hoped she could see how uncomfortable I was with this.

One of my students walking with his girlfriend distracted us from this awkward but close moment. "Dr. Pierce!"

I turned in both relief and irritation. The boy rarely turned in papers, and never paid that close of attention to my lectures. The boy's shirt did not help my annoyance. "What is it Slogan Tee?"

The girl chuckled and the boy just grinned, putting his arm around her. "When is the paper on antisocial personality disorder do?"

I sighed, but couldn't really complain. College students never worked on their homework until they had to. I was the same way back in the days when I was in college, made me feel bad for my old professors. Even Kate, while really interested in my class, didn't do more homework than was necessary. There are just other things more important to you in that time of your life. "Next Tuesday, that gives you ten days from when I assigned it."

"There are only two days left!" Slogan Tee said, gesturing erratically with his left hand. I noticed that his right arm never came out from around the girl's shoulders while she chuckled at his distress.

"Well then you shouldn't have waited so long to get started on it. This is college kid, not high school." I responded before walking away, Kate following quickly. The 'perfect evening' that I was having walking with Kate was suddenly, not so perfect. I'd just left the one thing that would stop her from asking questions behind and Kate now had full opportunity to pick up where she'd left off. She seemed to respect my wish for silence though and didn't bring it back up. We reached Florencetown, a nice little part of campus that was all apartments. It was a little off the beaten trail but made up for that with its tranquility. We found our way to Billy's apartment/dorm and knocked on the door. It was opened almost immediately but not by Billy, by one of his roommates.

"Doctor Pierce," he said by way of greeting. "What are you doing here?"

We heard the sound of a movie coming from farther in, pizza was on the counter along with what looked like a freshly opened twelve pack of beer.

Kate stepped forward, "FBI, looking for Billy. We'd like to ask him a few follow up questions." she said while holding her badge in front of her. It sounded very official.

"Come on in," the boy started while turning and heading towards the back. Kate and I stepped just inside and waited, I was slightly in front due to being the one who made the connection between Andre and Billy.

"Are you really standing in one of your student's houses with Kate? How awkward can this get?" DJ asked, making another choice appearance. This is really what annoyed me about my problem. My hallucinations chose the worst possible times to come up and make comments, especially the ones I couldn't reply to. Kate was right there and would certainly notice if I did anything strange. "Oh come on, she knows about your schizophrenia, you just explained it today. Plus you can't use the argument 'there's a difference between knowing about it and seeing it' because you already hurt her feelings once today and she certainly experienced it then." He was standing there with his arms crossed, looking at me with pity.

"Just drop it." I muttered, quite peeved, but not able to do anything else.

"What was that?" She asked, looking at me like I'd flown in from mars.

Billy came in at the right time, distracting her from being able to question my random comments. "What do you want Doctor Pierce?"

I was a bit irritated by his tone, but I was standing in his apartment, so I could understand it. "A boy named Andre Lustig got a study aide from you; it allows him to write two papers a die with very little sleep."

"Yeah. It's just a study aide, what about it? The pills aren't illegal" He replied looking at his friend, who wore an 'Oh crap' look on his face.

Kate folded her arms and took an aggressive step forward. "Then why'd you run? Trust me Billy; you don't want to screw with me twice." Billy looked around uncomfortably and hesitated for a long moment before replying.

"Because I stole the pills. Professor Emmett was working on them for the DoD, and when they turned out to be a no go, told me to dispose of them."

I snorted and just had to reply to that. "Our government trying to create chemically enhanced super soldiers, why am I not surprised." Kate looked at me with a disbelieving expression.

"Daniel," she said, indulging me but a little exasperated.

I held my arms up in surrender. "I'm just saying what's fact. Hitler revolutionized the production of crystal meth, Japanese kamikaze pilots popped dextrogens so they could fly all the way to Pearl Harbor."

She looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "I think you're getting a little off topic here." Kate turned to Billy, "so rather than dispose of them like you were supposed to, you took them and sold them to line your pockets."

I stepped in, impatient as always, "We need to talk to Professor Emmett, these stimulants throw any suspicions out the window. Thanks Billy, Kate, we're done here right?" I felt a little bad for her with how irritated she looked. This was normal for our cases, both before and after she left for DC. We'd think we were finally to the bottom of it, and just one more case changing fact popped up. And it probably didn't help that I wouldn't act like an FBI consultant should.

"Yes, thank you Billy," she said. We walked to the door, me pulling it open for her, as she looked at her phone. We do need to talk to Emmett but it can wait till tomorrow. I'm worn out and need some dinner, at…" she looked at the time, let out a weary sigh, and finished, "eight o'clock. You want to join me for a quick dinner before we're done for the night?"

I kept walking, but mentally froze. I felt like a deer caught in headlights as she was looking at me with oh-so-innocent eyes. "Thank you, but I'll have to pass, I have a previous engagement." I could see it on her face even before I'd responded. She was resigned to, and expecting, me to turn it down.

"Ok, well, have a nice night Daniel." She said, looking a little bit down, it almost changed my mind. But, I just couldn't.

"You too, goodnight Kate," I ended the conversation there and hurried away before she could make me question my decision.

oo0oo

A/N: My first time writing fanfiction, let me know what you think. Reviews and constructive criticism are both greatly appreciated.

Geheim


	2. Anticipation

A/N: Daniel doesn't know about Cahale's football accident yet.

oo0oo

CHAPTER 2

The next morning.

Daniel POV

I woke up bright and early the next morning for my day off. I was lucky enough to have no classes today and planned to finish, or at least make a lot of progress, on the case with Kate. I wrapped my nightgown tighter around me as it was getting chillier because it was Chicago in the winter, and went downstairs. Lewicki, as usual when he had early classes, had left my breakfast on the counter. I sat down and started to eat my apple while picking up my crossword. My doorbell chose that moment to inconsiderately ring and I had to get it myself. As I walked to the door, I remembered Kate's and my conversations last night and hoped she wouldn't bring my schizophrenia up today if it was her.

"Paul," I said surprised, "what is it?" He was wringing his hands and shuffled his feet uncomfortably before replying. "You remember asking me to not take Bryan Cahale's scholarship away because he sustained his brain injury on the field?"

There was a bad feeling in the pit my stomach as I replied, "Yes?" This time Paul looked down regretfully, "He played again, and got hit hard. He's paralyzed now."

I knew it. The boy wouldn't take me, or his problem, seriously because like every other young man, he thought he was invincible. "What hospital is he at?" I really wanted to know his reasoning for taking a chance like this.

"Northwestern Memorial Hospital. I'm heading there now, do you want a ride?" He replied as he followed me inside. "Give me ten minutes to get dressed, then I'll be ready."

oo0oo

Kate

I knew Daniel was off today but I wanted to get as much investigation does as possible before he contacting me. I rubbed my eyes as I walked into the building of sciences. He didn't seem to want to spend time with me yesterday, even more so than just not wanting to hang out, he got the case work done as quickly as possible, then bolted finding some excuse about a 'previous engagement'. I opened the door as I figured, if he doesn't want to spend time with me, I'll leave him alone. I didn't need his expertise for this case so it wouldn't be a problem.

"Can I help you with anything ma'am?" Someone who looked like one of the teachers came up to me, friendly smile on her face.

"FBI," I said while holding out my badge, "Do you know where I can find Professor Emmitt? I have some questions for her about the murder two days ago."

She looked apprehensive but pointed me in the right direction. "Julia doesn't have anything to do with it does she?"

I shook my head no while walking away. "There's a chemical experiment I need to ask her about. Thank you for the help."

I walked into Emmitt's classroom. With a whiteboard in the front, experiment benches in the back, and desks set up in groups rather than traditional rows, it very strongly gave off the 'scientific' feel. She had a video on her computer, of mice running through a maze. "Professor Emmitt, FBI, I'd like to ask you some questions about one of your experiments."

She paused the video and got up from the chair. Coming over and shaking my hand, she said cordially, "Are you here about the murder?"

I nodded, "Did you have an experiment that increased a person's aggression or chances of committing murder?" I asked her, satisfied that after I told her I was here about the murder, she'd be more genial and willing to help.

She raised her arm and rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a moment before replying, "I don't know that I have something with those exact results, I've been working on an experiment for the DoD that was designed to increase a soldiers awareness in combat even after long hours of sleep deprivation. I had to shelve that idea though; the side effects were tremendous and it would never work on the field." That was very likely what I was looking for, but the side effects could be the secret to the whole case. I replied, "What were the side effects and if you were able to find the trigger, what was it?"

Professor Emmitt had the appearance of a person preparing for a lecture. The lab coat with stains on it plus her slightly frizzy hair gave her a strong similarity to "Bill Nye the Science Guy" back from my younger days. "After about two days, twenty percent of the rats started to attack each other, or self-mutilate. With side effects like that we ended the study, but not after finding that the rats were hypersensitive to loud and/or chaotic noises. It would never work in battle. I had my lab assistant dispose of them."

I leaned forward anticipating a potential finish to this case. "And your lab assistant was Billy Mitchell?" At her nod, I thanked her for her time and hurried out of the room. If she gave the pills to Billy, and he sold them, I had a suspect list that just grew exponentially. Sadly, I couldn't confidentially finger Carl anymore. He may be an entitled little prick, but that could be all he is, not a murderer. I thought back over the case, trying to remember if anyone we had talked to had a problem with loud noises.

Then it hit me, when Annie Byers had spoken to us, she'd been incredibly stressed by her looming tests. She made a huge deal about the volume of Christana's music, even though the girl was just murdered, and didn't seem to think it was odd. I went to find Daniel, even if he didn't want to associate with me that much; he adamantly refused the idea of being kicked to the curb on this case, so he'd want to hear this.

I was hurrying around the exit corner of the science wing when I ran into someone. Apologizing before I knew who it was, I realized it was Daniel. "Kate, you're here early. Working on the case?"

I was uncomfortable because I thought I'd have the chance to open up our conversation with the information I gained on the case. "Daniel, early morning for you isn't it?" Ok maybe it was after nine, but I was nervous. He looked at me strangely for half a second before saying, "No, it's after nine…?"

I reflexively made an attempt to cover up my embarrassment, and would've made the situation worse for myself if it wasn't Daniel. "Oh is it? It's later then I thought. I have new information on the case." I said, changing course to the dormitories rather than the professor's quarters.

"What'd you find out?"

"I went to Professor Emmitt to ask her about the experiment and she confirmed that it was Billy's job to dispose of the prototypes. I also found out the reason the plan needed to be scrapped; the pills had major side effects, the rats they tested on started self-mutilating and attacking each other after only the second day when they were stimulated with loud noises."

"Wow those are some serious side effects. Wait a second; you say loud noises instigate it?" At my nod he continues, "Then it must be-,"

"Annie Byers." We both said together. He narrowed his eyes, letting me know he was thinking something. "She really didn't seem like a violent person, but I suppose experimental drugs can cause anyone to lose their head."

I nodded in agreement as we headed outside to cross the courtyard, Daniel having held open the door for me again. It was a very nice day out like yesterday, very warm for winter Chicago. There were students everywhere, enjoying the fresh air and nice weather. Being by Daniel brought back all of our conversations from last night. I really did want to know if I was the reason he was having more hallucinations, but didn't think he wanted to talk about it. He'd acted naturally with me so far today but he seemed… closed off. I didn't want to risk what little I had with him just because I'm curious. The only thing that kept me hopeful that he'd ever return my feelings was that he got an ugly look on his face, like he'd just swallowed something bitter, whenever my relationship with Michael came up.

"Doc!" Max called. We turned around to see him almost running towards us, confused look on his face. "Did you forget that you agreed to help Laura with psych right now? And I'm pretty sure she doesn't want sex anymore either. She's got a boyfriend."

What? Now this is certainly something Daniel hasn't told me. A look of realization came across his face, "Oh I forgot about Stimulus Package." He turned towards me, "She's the reason I was coming to the psych department on my off day. Just, tell her I'm working on an FBI case and we can reschedule."

"You're her professor. You're paid to make time for students that need help. Kate, is Doc needed on this case at all? Or is he just working on it because it happened on campus?"

I was stuck. Daniel very likely wanted me to tell Max that I needed his expertise, but helping his students is his job, not investigating a murder. "I don't need him, he's all yours." Daniel looked at me like I'd betrayed him. I answered his 'what the heck' before he could ask. "You're not an investigator, you're a professor, help your student. Come find me when you're done." Daniel looked like he was going to refuse anyways but Max didn't give him the chance.

"C'mon Doc. We're going to your office."

I heard him complaining until he was out of earshot, but he helped his student and I got to continue the investigation. It was a win-win situation. I went to Dean Haley's office and asked him to call up Annie.

"Please sit down, I'll call her right up. Is she in trouble?" he asked.

I took the seat he gestured to before replying, "Yes, but you understand, I can't give you any more information about an active investigation."

"Ah yes of course." He picked up the campus phone and requested that she came up. Hanging up he continued, "Now that we're just waiting for Miss Byers, I have a question for you that I would have asked earlier, but the murder was more important. I hear, correct me if I'm wrong, that you and the, multitalented Professor Cathaway are quite an item."

I was distinctly uncomfortable with this topic for conversation but I didn't want to be rude. "Yes, we've gotten together on several occasions, he's a nice guy. I don't like to talk about my personal life when I'm on the job though, so…" I paused after so to let him know the conversation was over.

"Yes yes of course, I have paperwork to do anyways. I hope you can get the investigation done as quickly as possible, so, good luck."

"Thank you," I replied, and settle down to wait. Took about a half hour but eventually there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Haley said. In walked Annie who looked quite irritated and a bit stir crazy. Her hair was frizzed up, she was wearing lounge pants and a hoodie, and her head snapped between me and Dean Haley repeatedly.

"I just have some follow up questions about the murder." As I said that, her face dropped and she started wringing her hands.

"Um ok, I kind of have like six chapters to cover before tomorrow, so brevity would be appreciated."

I raised my eyebrows at that. "Six chapters? That's quite a lot of cramming for a single night. She tossed her hair out of her eyes irritably before responding, "Yeah well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do."

I thought about the best way to bring the conversation in the direction I wanted, without straight up asking her. Young adults and teenagers are very evasive when asked something straight, so I didn't want to be forced into that. "You're very high strung. Are you taking some kind of stimulant for your studying?"

She looked like a deer caught in headlights. "He said the pills were legal. I didn't do anything wrong." I nodded agreeably. "No you didn't, but Billy did, and we need your help to nail him. Can you come into my office and answer some questions under scrutiny? I'll have you back here in no time to continue your studies."

"Of course." Annie said, jumping to her feet. She was itching to get out of Haley's office, get to the FBI, and get back to her studying. Little did she know, she'd very likely never come back.

We left the Dean's office and made our way through the entrance doors to outside. The sun was bright and a breeze was blowing. Sadly no birds were chirping. They were the only thing needed to make it a perfect morning, well that and not walking around with a suspect that may have committed a murder. I heard my name called and turned, to see Daniel hurrying towards us."Where are you going?"

I looked at him as meaningfully as I could so he wouldn't tell Annie she was the prime suspect. "Heading back to the FBI, Annie has been willing enough to give a statement about the study aide she received from Billy."

oo0oo

Daniel POV

Something felt off about this case. Compared to the seven others I had worked with Kate since she'd returned from DC, I hadn't really participated in this one. I was going to change that. This crime may not be relating to psychology, but it happened in my backyard. I was going to ask Kate about why I was kicked to the curb as soon as I got the chance.

"Ok, well then I'll tag along." I started walking towards Kate's official vehicle and they quickly fell into step beside me. We got into her car and got going. I started talking in a lower voice, so Annie didn't think I was talking to her. "Why have I been kicked to the curb on this one?"

After we got out of the campus parking lots she replied, staring alimentally ahead. "This isn't a case where I need your help. There is no psychological aspect to it. So if I find something I can do without needing to wait for you, I'll do it."

I accepted her response but something still felt off. Maybe she was taking my refusals to just "hanging out" personally. I'd have to find out once I could talk to her alone. I participated in a bit of small talk with Annie before sitting the rest of the ride to the FBI, in silence.

oo0oo

"I needed an edge, for the MCATs and Billy said that the pills would help me study harder and better than ever. And he was right; I studied for days and remembered everything I read." I looked at Kate and we both had the same thought. That, was the good side of the pill, the bad, well we were about to get that out of Annie.

"Wow, did you find that loud noises became unpleasant like, Christina's music?" As I said this, I looked imploringly at Kate, both for her to understand what I was trying, and for Annie to see I sympathized with her. Annie got an ugly look on her face. "It was driving me crazy. I had been cramming for three days."

I took another opportunity to come across as the 'good cop', "And then she starts blasting her tunes, pretty inconsiderate."

Kate, now understanding what I was doing, jumped into the questioning. "Did you ask her to turn it down?"

Kate and I both continued emphasizing with her, getting her more and more indignant until, "I took the window and I slammed it on her neck." That was it, the confession. "She knew I had the MCATs, and she didn't even care." Annie didn't seem to realize what she'd said.

"What did you do then?" I asked.

"Turned off the music, went back to my room and studied. Without all that noise I could get a lot done; now I knew I could totally ace the MCATs. And I did."

Kate stood up, "You're under arrest for the murder of Christina Hunter. You have the right to-" and she continued with the obligated speech. Realization that she was under arrest hit the girl right then. She looked like all her dreams had been crushed, which, in a way, they had.

As we walked down the steps and out into the sun, I saw the light hit Kate's face, and was seized with the strongest sense of appreciation. She'd been one of my favorite students, and now worked with me in the real world. She gave me puzzles, and respected my illness. I decided, right then, that things would have to change.

"Dinner sometime Kate?" She looked like she got hit by a truck, and then smiled. That made me smile. Even with the time spent in a public place and surrounded by well dressed likely rich people, that smile was worth it, even though inside I cried out with horror.

"Of course, are you busy tonight?" I looked at her with one eyebrow raised before half smiling. "As you well know, I have no classes today, and no other commitments so no, I am not."

She nodded, hesitated and then asked, "Is seven good then?"

I managed to get out a half smile and nodded. Turning and walking away I let out a little wave and got one last look at her face. Her smile was dazzling and I felt an uncomfortable pang before I forced my mind off her.

oo0oo

Kate

I couldn't wait. I know this shouldn't feel like a date but it did. I thought about it hard, how Daniel turned me down yesterday, and then instigates it today, it just doesn't make any sense. I watched him walk away, anticipation rushing through my veins. I still had seven hours before it was time, but my heart still beat faster.

"It isn't a date. It isn't a date." I kept repeating this to myself but it didn't seem to have any effect.

"Kate. Kate!" I heard Michael's voice and thought 'oh crap'."I heard you finished the case; I want to hear all about it over dinner. I found this amazing new sushi bar, they fly in their-"

"Michael. Um, I don't think it's gonna work." His face dropped but I felt I had to explain myself. "Not the sushi, the whole us. Maybe it's because I'm still technically married or maybe because I'm married to my job. I don't know." He interrupted me by saying my name.

"Kate. I get it, but you know what I think? It's not the job, or the divorce, it's a, it's just not that I'm the guy for you. Take care Kate." He then kissed me on the cheek and walked away. 'He wasn't the guy for me'? What did that mean? Was I really that obvious? Then I remembered our last date, and how he had started kissing me but my phone rang. I pulled away, answered it, and then left because it was Daniel. That is the one thing you shouldn't do on a date, and I had done it. Well, on the bright side that break up (is it a break up if you're not even together?) went a lot easier than I expected. I could now get excited for tonight, in peace.

oo0oo

A/N: Please read and review. I don't have a beta reader so if you see any grammar mistakes, PM me. Thank you

Geheim


	3. The Not Date

A/N: I'm sorry about the wait, I'd have had the chapter up last Tuesday but I crushed my finger pretty bad and had to wait for it to heal. Enjoy

oo0oo

CHAPTER 3

Kate POV

'It's not a date. It's not a date.' I kept repeating this mantra to myself while getting ready. It was only 6:15. I had a half hour before I had to leave. 'He probably isn't even going to dress up. It's not a date'. I started on my hair and had second thoughts about my appearance. Daniel and I were just having dinner at a small Asian restaurant, was I over dressing? I shook my head irritably, 'Don't over think things. It's not a date.' I looked at my phone, 6:35, before looking in the mirror. Even I had to admit I was stunning. My hair was down and curled, mascara to bring out my eyes, and the nicest skirt that I had. I left the bathroom and grabbed my purse before heading out to my car. I plugged my phone into my car's speakers and turned on some Led Zeppelin. I needed their music to get in the 'screw it' mood that I needed to be in tonight. When I drove into his driveway it hit me, truly hit me. The professor I'd had a crush on most of my college years asked to go to dinner with me terribly cliché but that doesn't change that I hope tonight is as good as my minds predicting. I got out of my car and went to the door. I was about to knock, but Daniel had already started pulling it open.

"Kate." He said smiling. Ok he hadn't dressed up, but he had cleaned up. Considering the circumstances, I never really should have expected him to dress up. And at least he answered the door himself and before I knocked, which means he's at least a little bit excited about it.

"Daniel, "I greeted with a grin, "you ready to go?"

"No I'm just standing here greeting you because I'm not actually planning to go." This is a side of Daniel I hadn't really seen before, brutally sarcastic. Then he smiled, "Kidding. Lewicki!" He called over his shoulder. "Leaving with Kate now," not waiting for a response he came outside and shut the door behind him. We walked to my car and got in. As I pulled out of his driveway I flicked a glance at him, "So what's this about a girl wanting sex?"

"Ridiculous girl trying to use her body to get an easy A. I had to have Lewicki double check that I wasn't seeing things, she had a problem with him looking at her with no shirt on and didn't make advances on me again." Daniel explained. I let out a belly laugh at that. "There was a girl standing in your office with no shirt on, so you brought Max in?" I asked incredulously.

"I had to make sure I wasn't imagining things!" He protested vehemently. "Just-"

I interrupted, "A girl takes her shirt off in your room, so you have Max… wow Daniel" I say before dissolving into giggles. He threw his hands up and started muttering to himself.

Daniel was actually gentlemanly enough to help me out of my coat, then sat down himself and went through the long process of taking off his winter gear. He really over dressed for the cold but I honestly thought it was endearing; he'd never know that though. A waitress came to our table and smiled enticingly at Daniel before asking us what we'd like to drink. I chuckled inside as he completely missed her interest. With our orders, water and tea, the waitress left and we picked up our menus. 'Shrimp noodle soup' immediately piqued my interest and I started going through the appetizers. My eyes flicked up to see Daniel watching me and my heart sped up.

"Yes?" I asked, pushing an annoying strand of hair out of my eyes. Either he looked guilty or I was imagining the way I wanted things to be. I hope it was the former.

"Kung po chicken, I think I'll take the safe route today and get my regular. Do you know what you're wanting?" At my nod he called the waitress over to take our orders before leaning back in his seat and watching me. I felt my face heat a little and asked what was wrong.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Just trying to guess what you're thinking." I wasn't about to tell him the truth about that so I brought up something else, "I'm kind of wondering what's different about today…?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Different about today?" He played dumb but I had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what I was talking about. I didn't want to ruin the mood, but I didn't think this would do it. Bringing up his illness, now THAT would be bad. "Yesterday I asked you if you wanted to hang out. You turned me down, now today you ask me. What's that all about?"

He looked uncomfortable but we were distracted by the waitress, who came with unfortunate timing to get our orders. Daniel needed to read off of his menu and I watched him while he did it, trying to see how uncomfortable he was about me asking. After giving her my order we had a while to wait for our food, and I looked at Daniel, expectation clear on my face.

He was very unsure of himself while he was explaining. Little did he know, I was terrified of asking too much and making him turtle up. "I… I just thought about it I guess." He made eye contact for a split second before looking away again. "You don't deserve me constantly turning you down for no reason. I realized that today."

No reason. I knew his reason not to eat last night was bullshit. "So your 'previous engagement' last night…" I raised an eyebrow at him. Daniel got even shiftier then, "Yeah, I didn't have anything going on." My appetite evaporated and my stomach felt like it shriveled up. He continued, "I realized today, this morning, that you didn't deserve that. You've been so good to me, both before and after DC."

I sighed, disappointed, "So you felt obligated to do this?" His eyes widened in surprise, "No of course not," he responded, "I've wanted to all the times you've asked, I just can't take some chances." He took a long drink from his tea and seemed to gain confidence from it. So I continued questioning him.

"What chances can't you take?" I had a suspicion that he felt he couldn't get into a relationship; that his illness was somehow in the way. He ran his hand through his hair, disheveling it and making me want to run MY hands through it. He looked both ways like he wanted an escape and I started second guessing my putting him on the spot. "Do we have to talk about me right now? Let's save embarrassing self-reflection for another time."

I put my hand over his from and as I did, felt every muscle in it tense. Staring him in the eye i said, "Daniel, this'll be the last thing I ask of you tonight." He still looked like he was going to refuse to answer, so I started rubbing my thumb in rhythmic circles over the back of his palm. His eyes snapped down to our hands and then back to me. I could tell he was forcing himself to answer and not pull away, "I can't have romantic interests; my… my schizophrenia doesn't allow me to live a normal life." I really wanted to respond to that but I promised him I would drop it after he answered. I didn't want to let go of his hand though, it felt, right.

I figured I should be the one to bring up a new topic though, "So how about Max and his investigative work yesterday. He planning to be a detective or something?" He took the change of subject with a huge, badly disguised, sigh of relief. "Oh Lewicki's doing fine. He changed his major the other day, I'm wondering if he ever will stick to one and actually finish schooling."

Well if Max left, who would take care of Daniel? "Isn't that a good thing? If Lewicki leaves you'll have no one to keep you out of trouble." I said it lighthearted but his face still dropped. 'He needs to see a counselor for this, he takes everything the wrong way' I thought.

"And who ordered the Kung po chicken?" The waitress was back and this time with our food, didn't stop her from eyeing up Daniel though. Made me want to hit her. Daniel snatched his hand away like mine was on fire and the waitress's eyes lit up. She gave him his food and then wrote something on her notepad, ripping the paper out she handed it to Daniel. "My names Kiera, call me whenever," and with a brilliant smile at him, she walked away. The look on his face though, now THAT was priceless.

"Umm.. ah…" He stammered and stuttered. It was ridiculously cute, "She was flirting with you Daniel." I pointed out sardonically.

His eyes flashed and his sarcastic self came back in a flash, "No I thought she was trying to kidnap me." Rolling my eyes I replied "You should call her sometime on Lewicki's phone." knowing that he never would.

"What? Why would I do that?" He protested. He was really oblivious sometimes, but I had plenty of experience with that. I rolled my eyes, "She's interested in you, or did you not notice?"

His mouth moved like a fish out of water and I laughed. The waitress came back with my shrimp noodle soup and smiled at Daniel again. When I first saw the waitress look really interested in him I wanted to punch something, now that I knew how he viewed relationships, she was just funny.

"So how are things going with the FBI? You staying within the circle enough?" He asked.

Even with how much I was enjoying the night, my head started pounding when he brought up the FBI. I put my spoon down rubbed my temples, "Reardon's watching me like a hawk. I haven't stepped out of line yet, but it's only a matter of time before I do something she isn't happy with."

"So it's a good thing this case didn't have any loose ends that you'd want to investigate."

I nodded my head tiredly. "Supposedly my inquisitiveness is what makes me a good agent, it's also what's gotten me into a ton of trouble."

"See, big brother at his finest. Demoting agents for the same things they congratulate them on." Daniel said, looking a little peeved. Made me feel good even though I knew it wasn't about me, it was about hating on big brother. I changed the subject off of the FBI after an awkward silence. That pretty much describes the night, a bunch of awkward silences with a few bits of conversation. I made a mental note to always think of several things to talk about with Daniel when we didn't have a case. That is, if this ever happened again.

oo0oo

Daniel POV

I knew this could be going better but I've never been much of a conversationalist. We, thankfully, finished what was on our plates and what we were talking about not long after Flirt brought us the check.  
"Here you are." She said smiling at me, "Hope you enjoyed your meal."

Whenever a girl is supposedly interested and puts me on the spot, I stutter and stammer like a twelve year old talking to his crush. "Um… yeah… It was good…. thanks." I managed to get all of it out before seeing Kate's hand reaching for the check.

What did Lewicki tell me? Grab the check, I moved my hand forward at the same time she did. She ended up with her hand on the check, my hand over hers. Lewicki made it seem imperative that I pay, and it was the chivalrous thing to do, so I moved her hand and looked at the number even as I was noticing her face color just the smallest amount.

"Over twenty dollars? Ridiculously high priced meal." Kate just chuckled making me more indignant. "If this is what restaurants always charge, people who eat at them regularly must waste a tremendous amount of their money on food."

"Daniel we're just two people, a group of four can cost more than fifty." She said with a half smile.

I shook my head in extreme disgust to that and took a couple singles out of the wallet Lewicki was so kind to donate. I put the couple singles on the table after closing the check booklet before standing up and walking with her over to the coat racket. I grabbed hers and helped her into it, getting a small smile. So just being gallant earns me a smile, I thought, something about her smiles just make my day brighter. I grabbed my jacket and threw it on so I could get out of this place as quickly as possible, and pushed the door open for her on the way out,

"Thank you Daniel, I don't know what's gotten into you tonight but I like the new you." Kate said looking appreciative.

I leaned closer to her as we made our way to the car and said in a stage whisper, "I'm just following Lewicki's instructions."

"Well then I'll thank Lewicki" She said with a chuckle.

oo0oo

When we got back to my place, she got out of the car as well. To my strange look she said, "Remember I'm thanking Lewicki."

I nodded, "Well then we'll likely have to drag him away from his 'video games' or whatever he calls them." Kate sniggered, "Yes Daniel, they're called video games."

As we got to the front door I stopped and closed my eyes. I just wanted to enjoy the brilliant weather for a second longer. There was a nice soft but refreshing breeze blowing past us. The moon shone brightly in the cloudless sky and I could hear the crickets chirping. The cedar trees were letting off their fragrant smell, and other than the awkward silences, this night couldn't have been any better.

"Daniel?" Kate said looking concerned. "Are you having one of your episodes?"

And there was proof, once a person knows about my illness, they assume every strange thing I do is regarding it. I guess people with schizophrenia can't just enjoy a nice evening for a second longer. I shook my head and went inside, "Lewicki!" I barked.

I heard thudding coming from upstairs before he appeared on the steps, "Yes Doc?"

"Kate has something she wants to say to you." Before heading back through the living room area to grab the mail that I hadn't gotten today. I heard Kate say, "I don't know what you did, but Daniel was a completely different person tonight. Thank you for that."

Having gotten nothing, I hung up my coat while sarcastically jumping in, "Yeah he took my foil hat away so I'm now possessed by aliens."

"Well you're welcome," He said ignoring me, "Now if you don't mind, I was in the middle of kicking Obi Wan's ass." He said before rushing back upstairs. Kate came over and put her hand on my arm. "Thanks for dinner, I had fun."

"When we get together in the future, let's make it here so we're not eating a twenty dollar meal." She grinned and walked out the door saying good night.

"Good night Kate."

oo0oo

A/N: I'm a guy, I don't know how I did on the 'Kate getting ready' description because I never went through anything like it myself. Reviews on that would be hugely appreciated, thanks for reading.

Also go check out DaisyDay's stories. She was my inspiration to start writing, and "Haze" is one of my favorite fanfics.

Geheim


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